the relativity of mimi (them other regularities can’t compete with mc)

E=MC²
Mariah Carey

Rating: A+

Carey may be no Einstein but she sure knows not to mess with a winning formula. E=MC² (a play on the scientist’s formula – meaning Emancipation of Mariah Carey to the second power) follows the trend of its predecessor The Emancipation Of Mimi in producing radio-friendly tracks. The album is the perfected “Rainbow” – the perfect mix of music genres in one compilation, a record which balances both fun and depth.

MIGRATE (feat. T-Pain)
The album starts off with a series of Carey’s signature whistle tones gliding to what would be the notes to the song’s background hook. The seemingly omnipresent T-Pain joins the songbird on this Danja-produced smooth grind. “Migrate” has the definite makings of a stone-groove club anthem in the coming days.

… If you’re inked up, thuggin’ that’s what I like. Face, body and Lamborghini outside. Obviously boy you’re qualified. Otherwise, migrate…

TOUCH MY BODY
“Touch My Body” has served its purpose of scoring Carey’s 18th #1 (it is weird that most fans are obsessed with chart records). It was a great strategy to launch E=MC² with this song as it somehow resembles how the record will be – a lot of mid-tempo tracks that revolves on killer hooks and controlled vocals. Although a filler, the explosive success of “Touch My Body” is a proof that Carey can still deliver.

… ‘Cause if you run your mouth and brag about this secret rendezvous, I will hunt you down…

CRUISE CONTROL (feat. Damian Marley)
When I heard that Carey was going to pull off a Reggae track (with the genre royalty Damian Marley), I told myself that I have to hear this soonest possible. Not because I’m a big fan of Reggae but Carey haven’t had a summery, feel-good material since “Honey”. And “Cruise Control” did not disappoint. One of the album’s highlights, Carey surprisingly delivers her lines (yes including lines sung in Jamaican patois) effectively. It will be sad not to let mainstream radio indulge in this summer hit.

… Through yellow lights, I’m ignorin’ every sign of caution that they provide. Driver’s Education 101 slipped out of my mind. I need me a caddy with some cruise control…

I STAY IN LOVE
There’s a certain magic in how Carey manages to make fresh her old, recycled materials. “I Stay In Love” is clearly “We Belong Together” number 31 in terms of lyrics, melody and structure but there is still a difference that I can’t put my finger on. Ahh. It must be the “na-na-na’s”. Yep, that’s it and the two-part chorus. It’s one of those pretty songs that other singers would die for. Then again, nobody can do it like MC.

… If you don’t know me at this point then I highly doubt you ever will. I really need you to give me that unconditional love I used to feel. It’s no mistaking we’re just erasing from our hearts and minds…

SIDE EFFECTS (feat. Young Jeezy)
Carey treads on the harder and grittier beats of R&B with Young Jeezy on “Side Effects”. This is the song she would have wanted to write and release during her “Butterfly” era. Metaphorically, she took about a decade to create this track which is a confession of sorts on the emotional wreckage that was brought about by her marriage to Tommy Mottola. And for four minutes, we are once again reminded of how Carey chose to shed and leave her old skin behind.

… Wakin’ up scared some nights. Still dreamin’ ’bout the violent times. Still a little protective ’bout the people that I let inside. Still a little defensive, thinkin’ folks be tryin’ to run my life. Still a little depressed inside I fake a smile and deal with the side effects…

I’M THAT CHICK
If Mariah was a song then she would be “I’m That Chick”. Other than the fact that it’s so pink, it’s so bubbly and bouncy thanks to the influence of Michael Jackson’s “Off The Wall” sound. It harks back the disco-pop feel complete with the roller skates and disco-mobiles with Carey singing about Biggie, Bentley, levity and “ooo wee’s”. Whatever that might be . It’s a slick track with very minimal production which perfectly anchors the vibe. “I’m That Chick” stands out among the other tracks off of E=MC². No wonder the record was initially planned to be called as such. Once released, this single will definitely trump over any other track thrown out by any dance-floor divas.

… Nah you ain’t seeing things, or hallucinating. I brings that levity. Take me for a ride…

LOVE STORY
I can’t seem to grasp the words used in the song’s introduction but whatever. “Love Story” is a hybrid of urban music and a ballad. A bit on the bland side but listening to Mariah enunciate “Casablanca movie” is just fun.

… ‘Cause this isn’t just another love story. Together we’ll make history. I know because it’s destiny. There’ll be no end to our love story…

I’LL BE LOVIN’ U LONG TIME
In her 18-year career, Carey have never had a song that sounds like “I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time”. This pop-meets-soul song samples DeBarge’s “Stay With Me” with Carey’s vocals so direct and understated – it’s like hearing her sing live, on top of the pre-recorded old-school beats and a hundred layers of Mariah’s back vocals.

… Scoop me up and we can go to that little spot where no one knows. Spend a little time just us alone. You can caress my body and never let go…

LAST KISS
A generic JD R&B track in the vein of “We Belong Together” (it’s number 32 on the list). And there’s nothing worse than a mediocre song.

… In my heart I know this ain’t gon’ be our last kiss. It’s too big we just can’t quit…

THANX 4 NOTHIN’
I thought that this was a very boring track knowing that Jermaine Dupri produced it. Carey sung the verses, and the “oh oh’s” over the smooth groove. And things got very interesting when she belted out the second chorus. And it was just pure bliss. And they said that Carey has lost her voice.

… Seems like what I do is think about our pseudo-romance while you’re somewhere burnin’ diesel in the streets havin’ laughs…

O.O.C.
“O.O.C.” stands out in a bad way. It is a pop track co-produced by Swizz Beats. When Carey left the studio with a hesitation about this song, she should have followed her instincts and dropped this off the track list. Although not entirely bad – it has a line that falls short for being a hook – it’s still greatly forgettable. It will most likely be the most skipped track.

… So scusami, te quiero mucho papi. Je ne sais pas mais c’est la vie…

FOR THE RECORD
“For The Record” appeals to long-time Carey fans as it cleverly includes infamous lines from many of her previous hits (“Always Be My Baby”, “Underneath The Stars”, “Honey”, “My All”, “Can’t Let Go” and “We Belong Together”). Got to give her some credit for that ingenuity. Based on a recent interview, she mentioned that this song was her real-life story of sorts. If that’s the case, wouldn’t this contradict “Side Effects”. I’m just digging too much.

… For the record, you’ll always be a part of me no matter what you do. And for the record, can’t nobody say I didn’t give my all to you. And for the record, I told you underneath the stars that you belong to me. For the record, it’s obvious that we just can’t let go of us, honey…

BYE BYE
A track co-produced by Stargate which surprisingly doesn’t closely sound like any of their past hits (“Irreplaceable”, “Tattoo”, “So Sick”, “With You”, “Wait For You”, “Gallery”, “Hate That I Love You”) save from the signature-percussion beat. “Bye Bye” is a watered-down “One Sweet Day”, an elegy intended for Carey’s deceased father. If the latter has genuine soul, the former relies on its catchy hook (ironically, she refuses to say goodbye but this song has got to have repeated the word “bye” not less than seventy times) and cleverly-penned lyrics that gives the song a universal appeal. Albeit a bit weak compared to the other tracks on the album, “Bye Bye” is pretty much considered as Carey’s 19th #1.

… You never got a chance to see how good I’ve done. And you never got to see me back at number one…

I WISH YOU WELL
Carey closes the album with her obligatory gospel track, “I Wish You Well”. It’s like listening to Alicia Keys, Norah Jones and all those Grammy drones. But only a gazillion times better. I recall Bono’s words in the 2005 ceremony when he said that Carey has a voice of an angel. And she should realize that all she needs is a piano and that angelic voice to be really emancipated.

… They have greatly oppressed me from my youth but they have not gained victory over me (In Jesus’ name). I wish you well…

The ballads are obviously trying to recapture the feel of “We Belong Together” which is not horrible per se but rather, plainly forgettable. We have to admit that it’s hard to step out of the shadow of something as monumentally great as 2005’s song of the year.

Regardless, Carey shines most when she ventures out of her comfort zone with songs like “I’m That Chick”, “Cruise Control”, “Side Effects” and “I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time”. Also noticeable is that she’s at her best form when she lays off the vocal gymnastics.

Overall, E=MC² is indeed The Emancipation Of Mimi part II albeit more natural, more coherent and more consistent in terms of songwriting. It’s like each track was tailor-made to be potential commercial single. It’s not bad per se but critics will surely point out that Carey will never have the “artistry” that other sings are known for. But then again, Mariah Carey is Mariah Carey. Them other regularities can’t compete with that.